Getting my groove back .. or .. figuring out how to write again

 It has been interesting starting my blog back up. Before I did, I went back and read through some of my old post from back in 2012, working my way forward. I had quite a few views on most of them, well for me anyway. And as I read them I thought, man, I used to be a decent writer. I seemed to be able to string words together painting pictures of how I was feeling. Using metaphors and word pictures. Coming up with beautiful analogies. (Though I also noticed that there were huge gaps between postings) I had kind of thought I would just jump right back in and be able to pick up where I left off. 

But the writing has not come so easily this time. I struggle to decide what to write about, and whether to be very real or more symbolic. Do I constantly post about my chronic pain/illness journey or talk about other things as well? Do I write for me or try to figure out what people want to hear about? And I wonder why I struggle with it all. 

As I think it through, I wonder if maybe the struggle comes from all that I have been through since I last decided to start writing again. The onset of almost daily chronic pain in one form or another has made me swing between wanting to wax poetic about the goodness of my sustaining and loving Father God, and just admitting that life it just hard right now, and sometimes I don't feel so poetic about suffering and pain and struggle. 

I think the to come up with the answer to what I should write, is to answer the question of why I am writing in the first place. And there is not one answer to that. I want to do it for my mental health, cause it helps me process, and to help others to know they are not alone in their struggles. I want to be honest about my life and at the same time encourage others to not give up and keep on pressing forward. And I want to continue to ask questions and process my life, and hope others will join me along the way as they go through their own lives. 

So, as I continue to find my way and figure out my groove, I hope you continue to join me on this journey.