Like it was yesterday ...

I remember that day, July 8 2013, like it happened yesterday.. I remember the song on the radio, the feel of the crash, the sound of the cars making contact. I remember the irritation quickly turned to concern in the man who hit me. The police officers taking my statement, my husband and daughter coming to take me home. I remember the searing pain in my neck and hip as the after effects of the impact began to take hold. As the year progressed  chiropractic visits, urgent care visits, neurology visits and injections and pain pills, heat packs and ice packs, and PT appointments that finally seemed to help.

Then  the blog at the one year mark, that waxed poetic speaking of trust and frustration,  of accidents and intention of the divine and  weariness and whispers to my soul, And now, another year of memories revolving around that day. Appointments, and frustration, of getting better, oh wait, maybe not. Of lawyers talk, and hope and disappointment and resignation to what must be.  Released from doctors but still dealing with the aftermath of that morning.  And wondering, as I read over my beautiful sentiment from last year, if I still hold firm to the thought that all of this was part of divine orchestration, whether caused or allowed by the One who loves me most and knows me best.

And I will admit, that I do get weary, so weary and find myself wondering, as I pray, from which example do I take heed? Of Paul who asked and was told "My grace is sufficient for thee"?  Or the widow who knocked on the door of the king till he finally met her need? Am I the widow or the apostle in this story of mine? Or, am I something of both? Where I will keep asking, but rest in His grace while waiting?

So as I ponder, exactly where I fall in the midst of this dance with Him, between asking for something different and acceptance of what is, I am comforted by the sweet reminder from that morning 2 years ago. That moment where the moments began that led to here. Where he whispered "I haven't left you, remember, I told you this would be long, I just didn't tell you how long. Hold on to me, don't give up, don't give in, keep walking forward. And rest in Me. Let Me be enough. Let Me be your peace. Let Me be your strength. You have much to learn and this is the only way." And I wonder what lessons still lie ahead.