I have always proclaimed my faith to others, how God cares for our needs, how he loves us and will provide for everything, to pray about all your needs and ask him to provide. Funny thing about faith, sooner or later you have to live it out, or it is just empty words that might encourage others but do nothing for your own walk. And, sadly I must admit, I am much better at talking about my faith than living it out every day. Don't get me wrong, I do believe the things I say I believe, in my head, and in may heart, but more often than not, in the actual living out of my days, I lean harder on my own abilities than I do my faith in God to provide. I am not saying that we are not to work hard, we should, but when the rubber really meets the road, when it comes time to trust for provision that does not involve debt, that is a whole 'nother ball game all together. Our current life journey has us determined not to add to our debt, unless they are justified business expenses (and even that is questioned heavily), we are not going to borrow money from our lines of credit. So, that means that when the cash money is gone, then its gone. We will wait for God to provide, one way or another. We will lean hard into Him, seek his help and wait... yes, wait ... and sometimes wait some more.
So, the title of this post has a story behind it. This past week we have been tested in our commitment to not add debt. Groceries were running low, but not gone completely, we were having those weird meals where you just start cooking what ever you have in your freezer, you know the type. And, of all things, we were running out of toilet paper. So, what do you do? Seriously, what do you do? Well, I pondered that question all day, on that particular day. We were down to our last roll, and I kept thinking this is silly, I just need to go to the store and let the overdraft loan take care of the deficit. But I kept putting it off. I was doing a major cleaning and decluttering of our living room, as we are moving things around to create a home office area, and so lots of piles of stuff were being gone through. And that's when I saw it....
Yes, indeed. A roll of toilet paper, about half full. One we have probably used for blowing noses and just never put back in the cabinet that had gotten under a pile. I smiled when I saw it and took it too the front bathroom. As I continued to work I thought how nice it was to find a partial roll of toilet paper, nice for God to let me find that. And then, I saw it ....
Yes, its true. A second roll, about half full, sitting there waiting to be found. Now I really smiled. Cool! Two rolls of toilet paper, one for each bathroom, how lovely for God to let me find not one, but two! That will get us through today and most of tomorrow. I continued with my working, moving stuff, throwing out trash, rearranging, dusting and vacuuming., running laundry, sorting books...and that's when I saw it.
A third roll, sitting on a shelf behind some books. At this point I laughed out loud and almost got the giggles. I looked up at the sky and said "Really?? I get it! Thank you!" ... and every time I think about it I smile again, and am reminded of how God cared for my family that day. With something as silly as allowing me to find three rolls of toilet paper, that lasted till we had some cash and I could go to the store again.
So, why a story about toilet paper? A silly story about such a basic need? Because God used that silly little need and his provision as a way to remind me that he does indeed care about all my needs and if I will let him he will provide, one way or the other, but I have to be patient and allow him to work in his time. In the coming weeks and months we will have bigger needs than toilet paper, but as we wait for his provision, doing our part by working hard and following hard after Him, I will remember that He will provide if we will wait for Him and that his timing is always perfect.
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